Here you are again, teaching me things as well! You took us along on quite a good mental hike! And, I enjoyed the view. Authentic people attempting to live an authentic life question themselves relentlessly. That is growth. That is expansion! One coping tip that has helped me with my "writer's deluge" of topics and ideas is to immediately open up the "WRITE" tab on Medium and put in a Title. I don't stop to write then and there, but I save the idea with a title and now I no longer struggle with my next piece. I have about twenty sitting in the list just waiting for me! Keep writing your life. Some of us are out here cheering for you! We see your struggle and we see you conquer! We watch you grow!