Message for Mom
Among the many memories I have of incidents that surprised, confused, excited, or puzzled me as a Celebrant doing funerals for grieving families, there is a very interesting story that happened in my first year. I met with a family who had lost their son and brother. He was born with Down’s Syndrome, and was a long-time survivor, and had lived well into his adulthood, reaching 52 years of age. In his early adulthood the family had transitioned him into a group living situation which gave him some much-needed independence and new experiences outside his family care.
When I met with the family and learned about his life, and his aging parents, and grieving siblings, they had so many stories to share. He had definite likes and dislikes and would become very agitated over some movies and TV shows, in a very controlled but animated way. This love had prompted him to collect and receive as gifts well over a hundred key rings with figures attached. The figures included everything from action figures to company logos to cute little animals.
For the service, the family had taken one of his favorite blankets that he would use when he sat and watched his movies or shows, and they had attached all his keyring collection to the blanket. They then used this as a “casket saddle blanket” by draping it over the casket for the service and for the graveside committal. I thought this was such a thoughtful thing for his family to do for him.
The graveside service was gathering around the front row of chairs where family is seated, and I can only describe what would be a “calm and stillness” that came over the crowd just as I was about to begin. There was an unusual complete silence, which does not normally ever happen at Graveside. There is always conversation. I was hesitant to speak and break this calm complete silence that had overtaken us all as we stood there. Suddenly, from the very center of the blanket, one of his keyrings tumbled off and rolled, not bounced, about 4 feet right to his mother’s feet. I heard her gasp. She said, “that was his favorite!” The silence was broken by everyone starting to speak to each other, with exclamations of “Did you SEE that?”, “There’s no wind!”, “What caused that? We had them all pinned! , ”Why did it roll like that?”
I let the comments continue a bit before I started the service. I was in as much shock and awe as anyone because I fully expected to see the object bounce when it hit the ground, not ROLL across the level artificial turf, as it had done. I cannot remember exactly how I commented on what had just happened, other than I did say something to the effect of “I’m sure we can all see that this was a very special and direct message to mom that he remains close to you all and is ok today.”
