Your questions resonate loudly in my own thoughts, and that is why I began my own "spiritual journey" about 7 years ago. Through my experiences I am now quite confident in the survival of our consciousness, our soul, beyond the event of our death. I do not claim to be psychic, but I have had such strong and clear messages from the dead I have worked for as a Celebrant. Compelling messages with strength that were unmistakable. I don't have a lot of answers for you, but I join you in your hunger to know the answers.